27 Oct 2008


I've had friends all my life, for as long as I remember. I've had memorable friends, some memorable for the wrong reasons. I've had those who drifted away and I cannot remember now except in odd moments of: "I wonder what happened to...?"

It's odd though, on the persons we call friends. I've been revising my opinion constantly. I'm yet not sure. I'll describe three friends and each provided me with friendship when it was needed, yet now we have drifted apart... can I still consider them friends?

The first: When I was working in Port of Spain, I drove up daily from south, and as I had an empty car, I took up four persons who didn't have cars of their own.

I remember this girl who was with me one morning when I got in a car accident at South Quay in front of City Gate. A woman with a pickup van on my left just pulled in front of me heading towards a car park on the right, thus cutting across directly in front of me and ripping off the entire front of my car... a brand new car I'd only bought a few months earlier.

Of course, knowing that I'd be a long time in the police station etc, everyone scattered. Except this one girl.

I asked her why she wasn't going to work, and her reply was that she knew how traumatic something like that was and that she'd feel better if she remained to give me some support. She'd feel better? - well, I was and still am grateful because that was the first accident I was ever in and I sure as hell was on the verge of panic, even if it wasn't my fault. Needless to say, she provided a lot of calm influence that made it all pass easily. I've not heard from her for years now, but I still am grateful for her support then. Is she still a friend? I'd like to think so.

The second - My best friend (male) I met when I was about 18 years. I worked in an electronics shop for a few months before moving on to further studies, and he was the other technician there.

It's odd... our lives were so parallel it was uncanny, running as parallel as train tracks. We often ended up changing jobs, or girlfriends within weeks of each other. We got married within weeks of each other (he was my best man and I was his) and divorced around the same time. We both travelled out of Trinidad about the same time too, him to NY and me to England. He still lives in Trinidad though.

He was there the lowest night of my life, without fail, and without question. I still consider him my best friend, even though we haven't exchanged more than 2 phone calls in the past 6 years. How odd that despite the lack of frequent communication I can still consider him my best friend. Maybe it is because I know inside I can count on him to the last.

The third - My best female friend was a friend by accident as it were. I use to hang out in this office at work during my break times, and made friends with everyone working there.

One girl in particular talked to me a lot, and we became firm friends, and yes, she had a boyfriend so it wasn't THAT kind of friendship. But the amazing thing was that the first time I visited her home, I found out she and I were cousins. That made our friendship all the more deeper. A friendship that lasted 14 years.

And yet, when I I came to England, I never received one single letter, phone call, note, nothing. Nada, zip, zilch... And yet I wrote to her almost monthly.

So am I still friends with her? I don't consider her among my friends, because I feel let down. Yet, at the lowest time of my life, she along with my best male friend were there through thick and thin... what is the difference? I can only put it down to the fact that I had more expectations of her, and I feel more let down and betrayed by her than anyone else.