15 Nov 2008

Fat-arsed Khaki shiners

Let's get back to James 'Jimmy Swaggart' Philbert, currently Pa-trick's 'chosen one' to lead the crime initiative against thieves, bandits, rapists, murderers, and hopefully, corrupt government ministers and other employees of the state.

Poor Jimmy is as bereft of ideas as Pa-trick is of common sense. Today, the Express printed his 'latest crime initiative'.

Acting Commissioner of Police James Philbert last night unveiled his latest crime initiative geared at uprooting lawlessness in the country.

After seeing that intriguing sentence, I thought to myself "Finally! They doing something about the crime situation. Maybe it take them a while, but they get off their arses and stop shining the khaki and now they doing something."

I was excited. It was almost like having an orgasm, you know. Almost.

Turns out it was like a tease leaving you with a big case of 'blue balls'. Because the big crime initiative was nothing more than a revamped version of his prior begging. I'd even blogged about it before.

Philbert, in a 50-second advertisement aired on national television, called on citizens "to assist in a new dispensation under which all laws in our country will be observed".

Admitting that "violent crime is an extension of the lawlessness which has become increasingly visible in our country", Philbert lamented that "far too many laws are being disregarded and this cannot be allowed to continue".

He said the police service will now do what is necessary, but the assistance of the public is also needed to curb the spiralling crime rate.

So now the Government paying to make poor Jimmy a national embarrassment (even more so) by having him beg on TV. And Jimmy, dotish as he is, cyah see that. Is it the salary? The position? The shit colour uniform? The fact that so many men and women have to kow tow to him due to the position he holds?

Something must be driving this man to look beyond the embarrassment and shame and accept wages for shining the khaki on his pants bottom.

And the pretty words also reveal the same 'zero tolerance' they always talking about. So what's new?  Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Okay, I just ketch mehself. They spent money on an ad to make him beg on TV.

I'm of the view that if something positive comes of this, it will only prove the adage 'give enough monkeys enough typewriters, and one will eventually type out the alphabet'.