4 Feb 2009

Peace of mind

It’s a slow morning, and I don’t have to go to work. There is no fresh snowfall, and what is on the ground is rapidly melting, though more is predicted for tonight and tomorrow.

I deliberately bypassed the Trinidad newspapers today, not wanting to have to deal with so much crap. Lately, I've become pensive, and more depressed. Not only about the never-ending stream of bad news from down there, but also because lately I’ve realised that several important aspects of my life are now necessary for me to let go of.

Letting go is never easy, and some of these decisions have been weighing very heavily on my mind, more so since my brush with dengue and the ill health that followed.

Support is almost non-existent for me in the UK, since I have no family here except for Punks, who at age 10 is certainly not the appropriate person to unburden my thoughts. Friends are more likely to be centred around their own lives and their own families, as is common in the UK. People here are less involved in other peoples’ troubles.

My mood is not related to the weather, I hope. As time passes, I find myself hopeful for something, and yet I cannot define what it is that I am seeking. Peace of mind certainly. Perhaps that will come in time, one can hope and work towards that, as I have been doing.

In the meantime, I am going to do my daily workout and have a good breakfast. All things else can wait.