15 Feb 2009

A Valentine muse

Well, another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. I resisted blogging about it yesterday, but after several emails from various friends, I figure I ought to put in a few words.

I have been single for a heck of a long time. I’ve concentrated on raising Punks more than I have on finding any significant other. I’ve had a couple (well, more than a couple) of women pay attention to me in the years past, but my commitment and resolve to Punks has remained firm. One in particular, being pretty much selfish, have asked me to give up Punks and move into a relationship with her; that is more than a selfish thought – it is positively insane if you ask me. Can you ask a person to give up his own child, his own flesh and blood?

I certainly pointed out to her that when she has children of her own, then and only then will she understand what she was asking of me.

I didn’t see persons like that as being in love with me because that request was totally selfish and self-centred. Not worthy of consideration then and now. That person was all about ‘ME’ and not me, if you can see the difference there.

I also have friends I care about deeply, who confide in me over their own trials and tribulations in their love lives. I am concerned over my friend Linda, whom I warned over 15 years ago about marrying the wrong guy. But she was ‘in love’ as she told me and went ahead anyway. No surprise to me that the marriage ended and she has now told me she has an exceptional dude paying attention to her. More power to you, fella. You have a fine woman there.

My friend Sarah has been on the most self-destructive path you can possibly imagine, for as long as I have known her. It took a little tact and some skills to point this out to her, but I daresay her new guy is an exceptional bloke and she now seems totally happy. In fact, I hear she might even be planning a wedding. Since I know the chappie, I think she has made a very, very wise decision this time. No one could be happier for her than I am right now.

As for me, I guess I have a few more years of bachelorhood left, until Punks can stand on her own two feet. Or until I find a woman who is caring enough to accept that she has to share my life, and not demand it.

There is one out there I know who is willing to make that choice… I hope she realises that love cannot be forced upon a person. I guess I have to say ‘sorry’ to her.

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