28 Jun 2009

Duncey strategy

Duncey strategy

When I saw this picture in the Newsday, I was dumbfounded. Speechless. I took a few minutes to digest it, then realised I needed more time; so I went to make a cup of tea. The minutes spent filling my kettle, boiling the water, steeping 2 teabags (I felt I needed an extra strong cup), and mixing some milk etc…

I came back to this photo. I still can’t believe the duncey service actually have balls to publish this photo. Forget ‘testicular fortitude’ – who’s de arse who came up with that anyway? He didn't have de balls to say ‘balls’?

Back to the photo…

“Think you got away this time?”

Well, duh! With an admitted 8000 officers, and 5000 admitted ‘arrestes’ per year out of 80,000 reported serious crimes (in 6 years though, not one), that is less than one arrest per duncey, per year!

Allyuh realise dat is a single figure arrest ratio, and outa dat, the detection rate is less than 10%? Allyuh realise that the chances of a rat abandoning ship and survivin’ is so much ahead, that is almost a certainty?

‘Holy Shit!’ you say. Well is shit yeah, but it ent holy.

Back to the photo…

“Well, our law enforcement associates are waiting…”

And that, ladies & gentlemen, concludes that. The duncey service has openly passed the buck. They are no longer responsible (as if they ever thought they were) for crime prevention, detection etc. They now expect that their associates will do the job for them.

But let me not carp on this, before I fart fire here today… I cyah expect much from a the biggest collective bunch of people who fail to get a full pass in school and are led by people who ent have 3 ‘O’ levels self.

If that wasn’t enough, I saw this in the Guardian.

Expect to see, from tomorrow, cops on bicycles, on motorcycles and on foot patrol, and some even dressed casually in short pants, patrolling the streets of Trinidad and Tobago, hunting for law breakers, even the average man littering the streets. The 250-strong special unit, trained in two weeks…

Well, long time I advocating putting dem duncey back in short pants. The entire service went from bad to worse when they get long pants and start to feel dey is man.

But I wondering, how are 250 dunceys going to make a difference? You wondering what I talking bout, ent? Well, look at de duties assigned to them… “patrolling the streets of Trinidad and Tobago, hunting for law breakers”… Call me ‘Miss Taken’ if that ent the same functions as de next 7,750 dunceys contracted to do.

So the duncey service just get reduced to 250, after 2 weeks training.

Ha, allyuh tink that funny? Watch this one…

The squad, which is being referred to as a Special Task Force Unit…

STFU? A popular acronym for something far more widely known, and if I may say so, appropriate to this situation.

Sigh… I could go on and on… dunceys are my favourite topic to point out that dotishness must be… but for now I better just STFU.