31 Dec 2009

Missing the missing nose on the face

I have had some comments in the past from people who think I give dunceys a hard time. Do I? I wondered that at times. I even tried to refrain from writing about them, in case anyone gets the idea I am biased against stupid people.

However, I must point out that the fodder they provide would feed an army of donkeys for life. Really.

Take for example, this morning I opened up the newspapers (using my Firefox Morning Coffee extension) and on the Express page (I usually ignore the headline articles at first) I saw this sub-headline:

'Natural death' now a murder?

Given that top duncey yesterday was boasting and beating his chest (okay maybe not quite beating his chest, but certainly not hanging his head in shame) about a 3.65% murder detection rate, I thought to myself, “This looks interesting, let’s check it out.”

Uh-huh. It was worth opening it first, even if only for the amusement factor.

Check it out… I am going to point out the obvious.

Police arrive to a death scene, determine the man died from over-drinking because of tabanca.

PROBABLY thinking it was an open-and-shut case, police officers who responded to a report of a young man found dead in his bed yesterday morning, ruled that he may have drunk himself to death as a means of coping with the break-up with his girlfriend shortly before Christmas.

So far, so good. I mean, he ent go be the first to turn to a bottle to cope with losing he gyul, and he certainly won’t be the last. (No disrespect intended to the deceased.)

Now, here is the part where the typical duncey dotishness come into play. Read these words carefully.

That was until someone discovered some spent bullet shells near the front gate and what appeared to be bullet holes in the wall of Fletcher's bedroom.

…Kendel also noticed a foul scent coming from his brother's room and decided to climb on to something to peer into his room.

Fletcher… / … was seen lying on his bed and was covered in blood.

For those of you who ent get it, let me sequence this out for you…

The victim’s brother found him covered in blood. Police dunceys were called, arrived, and determined that he was dead from being drunk, despite being covered in blood! Then dunceys left, following which spent shells and bullet holes in the wall were discovered, and the police dunceys recalled. It was only then that the death was re-classified as murder.

Now, if police dunceys missed the bullet holes in the wall, I can understand. Most of them can’t see higher than their penis. But to miss the blood on the body? The blood that was discovered by someone else before? Okay, leh we apportion some blame here… let’s say the relatives failed to point out the blood to the dunceys on the scene.

Now, when dunceys miss the nose from the face (or fail to detect the missing nose from the face), allyuh see why the detection rate is only 3.65%?!

I don’t know if stories like this actually good for my blood pressure nah, what with the laughter it causes, or the despair that washes over me.