25 Dec 2009

The toilet paper Christmas message

When I was in high school, at the time I entered Form 5, there was a transfer student from San Fernando. An egotistical prick who went to Presentation College, and whose 'O' level results wasn't 'good enough' to get him back into Presentation College to study 'A' levels.

This chap, son of a prominent doctor in San Fernando, came to my high school with a chip on his shoulder and a sneer on his lips. He clearly did not want to be there, despite the fact that he was accepted when no one else would take him on.

His lousy attitude was apparent in his interaction with students, and teachers. He constantly referred to the school as being 'in the bush', equivalent to an outdoor toilet, and other such messages.

The beginning of the end came when he was asked by the General Paper teacher to write an essay (topic of which I cannot recall after so many years).

I remember clearly though, he wrote the essay and likened the school on paper to that outdoor toilet, and brought in the solution as being rolls of toilet paper. While the details elude me, he was clearly being insultive and crass.

When it came to the attention of the principal, he was called up to the front of assembly (on the stage) and asked to read it out aloud. While reading, he was soundly booed of course; there is nothing so crass as insulting a person's loyalty to their alma mater.

At the end of the read, the principal made a short speech as to the importance of gratitude. At the end, the principal simply gave him his book bag, and told him to leave and not to return. That was the end of him at my school. The Yip that went aHoy.

The reason I brought up this story is an article in today's Guardian.

After reading this, and watching the words Pa-trick used, I can only think about toilet paper. While the Yip talked about toilet paper, he failed to mention that no matter how clean and pretty and soft, and nice smelling it may be, it serves only one purpose... and is flushed away after.

No matter how pretty the words used, the message is still shit, and the toilet paper is much needed.

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