4 Jul 2010

Jamaica 1980 comes to Dongkey Rock

Well I jes get up. Ah eh wash meh face good self and a gorn on dee Guardian website 2010-07-04. And w’at hit meh. Somik about ‘Lock Dong’ (aka Lock Down). WTF going dong dey man.
Well now dey step up joint police and army patrols on weekends explained PM Kamla P-B.

Interestingly Kamla would recall no doubt, Jamaica 1980-ish. I was dey when she was day. So she knows what went on in Jamaica back den. “W’at?” – yuh arksin'. Exactly w’at going on now is w’at went on in Jamaica – dis business about rong dee clock joint patrols.

No – ah not saying dey wrong to put these patrols in place. So doh read meh wrong here. What I am saying – as I’ve said many times before – is that there is a common  pathology that affects some Caribbean nations. Eef you want to lorn about whey Dongkey Rock going, jes study whuh happened in Jamaica – at least from 1980.

I doh really like tuh hope an’ t’ing becuz dee Cap’n doh live on hope. When I on dee open road or sailing the seven seas I doh hope I know whey I going – I knows whey I going. However, on dis occasion – wid a new gov’t comin een – ah hope t’ings eh go dee Jamaican way.

Kamla seems to be surrounded by some very bright people. Look – ah say some, not all ah dem bright right. So jes calm dong. So wha’ a mean tuh say is dat hopefully intelligence will prevail in this new regime – unlike in the previous regime where dunciness prevailed. Intelligence is the ability to adapt to novel and changing circumstances, and to apply human conative processes to predict the likelihood of events or bring about predicted changes. Quote dee Cap’n on dat.

Enjoy allyuh lock dong – ah hope it doh las’ forever – becuz dat cyah be a real and wholesome way of life. Allyuh country need to go back tuh a time when yuh didn’t have tuh live in steel cages, when yuh could leave yuh front door open and not worry, when yuh never had tuh duck and dive from bullet and stray penises.

BTW – las’ night I forget my front door open. It was slightly ajar when I went dong arong 01:00 tuh lock up. Well ah get a bit worried dat somik might be missing. But everything was in order! “Aaye – dis is Englan’ “ – ah had tuh remind mehself unnecessarily!

Godspeed to all.