23 Jul 2010

OCD – you may have it!!

Well, well… I met an individual the other day who informed me with much conviction that s/he had OCD. For dozz who eh know what dat is, i’s – obsessive compulsive disorder. Apparently i’s quite fashionable to have a mental disorder deese days. Anyways dis person was telling me dat dey have OCD because of the following:

  1. Dey brush dey teeth 3 to 4 times per day.
  2. Dey bathe two to three times per day.
  3. Dey would check all doors and windows three times in the night before going to bed.
  4. They would mop kitchen floors twice per day.
  5. Wash dey hand 10 times a day

Right – and dey doctor and a shrink diagnose dem wid dis condition, for which dey receiving 3 times dee usual dose of antidepressants. Errh and dat above is before all dee treatment. After dee treatment? No difference!!

So – I going “Umhmm.. Umhmmm” and t’inking, “Shit.. eef s/he have OCD, I must be have it too and a particularly bad attack of it.. becuz I doing most ah wha’ s/he sayin’ except dee floors t’ing.” I might even brush my teeth 5 times a day and door checking could be 6 times – especially wid my fancy alarm system.. eef a door only move is police sirens outside my yard.

And I does wash my hand probably 15 times a day, dee mongtah nasty people hand I does shake – gord man – ah jes have tuh wash hands a whole lot. After visits to toilet alone is 4 times at least. Before meals and snacks is probably another 4 times, when dishwashing probably 4 times, and den after nasty hand shakes another 5 times or so.

So – I certainly have it! And so can you!! Well daize eef yuh live here in Engerland or Englan’ eef yuh like. Yuh see in other posts I told how nasty deese people is. So, basically some a dem who by happenstance end up doing dee right t’ing, gettin’ labelled wid OCD. How yuh like dat?