26 May 2011

Bathing in dilute shit!

Hol’ yuh nose and get a bucket or supm if yuh plan to continue readin’ dis!!

Well, allyuh know I talk about how dee British nasty(1, 2, 3)!  If dis doh convince yuh, nothing will.

Right. I jes wake up to a headline dat got me outta bed to write dis. I was on my HCD (Handheld Computing Device, for newbies), in meh bed when I came across an article that stated:

Forty-six beaches have been labelled potential health hazards in a list of shame which includes some of Britain’s best-known seaside locations.

No-swimming signs may have to be erected under European rules unless they are cleaned up.

Sewage discharged into the sea is generating dangerous levels of bacteria and viruses, according to the Marine Conservation Society.”

Eh? Sewage?!! 46 beaches have been so affected! Read it here: Swim at your peril – in shit dat is.

Get dis – dis is not a new problem in dis country! I came to know about this problem about 15 years ago! It was always in the public domain.

The size of the problem may have reduced a bit, but in my opeenion no beach should offer the facility to bathe in dilute shit!!  And dat is what is being offered to us in several parts of the country. Well, not exactly in those words. But think of it – if there was  sign up stating “This beach offers bathing in shit diluted with sea water – enjoy”, I wonder how many would venture in to the water. There are bound to be a few who will do it just to be rebellious – I’m sure. However, I think most people would avoid the area.

BTW – please note that the practice of having a bath…like in a bathtub nuh – like dee English in particular are fond of – is an efficient way of washing shit out of, or from arong dee arsehole, and den spreading it arong to other parts of the body.. head, face, mouth etc. So – maybe shit concentrations in a few beaches may be much less. I don’t know. Look – I eh cyare!!

But eef you are a discerning type like me – who prefers showers – and eef yuh planning a trip ova dis side for dee summer, you may want to careful.

BTW - does anybody dong on dee Rock know what shit concentration levels in dee waters arong Maracas and Mayaro? Ah bettin dat dat information not in the public domain dong dey! Boy, allyuh eh even know what allyuh bathin’ in self… jeeezzzz!! Watch out for dat flotsam and jetsam eh. Geeeeddd!! Winking smile