13 May 2011

A taste of first world medical care

Well, I’m sure this post will rub a few people the wrong way. Some will say or think that I shouldn’t compare t’ings over in Englan’ wid Donkey Rock medical care. And I say chew mat wid dat. I say allyuh people need to see what it is about. How else allyuh go lorn. Is a long and gripping story – daize one ting yuh know wid dee Cap, when ah giving a story yuh bong tuh read eh. Smile

The story began last night, when one of the young members of the Captain’s crew fell ill with a serious eye problem. At about 19:45PM on 2011-05-12 the Cap called a GP service. Within 5 minutes a doctor returned the call and taking details from the Cap about the crew member. We’re told to attend a night-clinic, 15 minutes up the road. We get there and within 5 minutes we’re called in to be seen by the same doctor who spoke with me on the phone earlier.

2011_05_13_foyerThe Cap’s crew member, was thoroughly checked out by a relaxed and polite doctor – sweet smellin, and not dripping o’ sweat and hitting yuh wid dragon-breath. All the latest technology came to the assistance of the doc. A few minutes later the doctor called up a specialist in our local hospital and it is arranged for the young crew member to be seen at 20:30. We get to the hospital and within 10 minutes the specialist was examining the crew member with all the latest gadgetry. Medication? Yes – no problem. Crew member is given three sets of eye drops. No – we’re not invited to come back tomorrow and line up wid a bunch of animals jostling in a queue (like on a certain Rock nuh). Errrh.. no we didn’ have tuh pass any bribes, pull cables lef’, right and centre, or call up some famaly who know a dacta in dee horspital. [Allyuh know how a like tuh break een tuh meh deep Barackpore-type English eh - or is dat Mamoral?].

Right – so crew member soldiered on with the medications overnight but by 16:00 today, condition deteriorated. The Cap was 50 miles away on assignment. No problem. Cap called up GP’s surgery and reported that crew member’s condition is now quite serious. 15 minutes later a pleasant voice comes back to the Cap on he hands free cell-phone, while en route back to the Captain’s Cove. The Cap is told that crew member should attend ASAP. SatNav reported that ETA was 17:40 so Cap tells customer service that ETA at the Surgery would be 17:45. 2011_05_12_22_02_24_00Picked up crew member at the Cove – in bad shape – then over to the Surgery. We got there dead on 17:45. Five minutes later the doctor invites us in, politely. Not a sweaty bossy so and so barkin’, “Nah.. nah.. you remain outside.. is dee odda one to come een” – like on a certain Rock nuh. The doctor took a quick history and realises this is serious! Bram – phone call to specialist. Connected in like 30 seconds. Specialist says “Back up to the hospital at 19:30”.

We had nuff time to get some food and t’ing. Den voosh back up to the hospital for 19:30. At 19:45 the crew member is seen and checked out in very pleasant well-equipped surroundings. The doctor is again polite and competent. Thirty minutes later, a decision is made for the crew member to be admitted! Bed arranged in 5 minutes. And Stitched Panoramawithin the next 40 minutes crew member is in a very spanking new, private suite. Hol’ on. Private? – ah didn’t say private hospital. Dis is dee Govament hospital boyyyy – crew member in a private room – not a private horspital. See it nuh. But no – instead allyuh bong tuh preoccupy allyuhself wid dee teddy bear on dee bed, eh – missing the bigger picture as usual. Daize how allyuh stop. Jeeezzzzzz. – daize why allyuh stuck in dee bush! Errrm.. dat screen henging dey is a TV eh.

Note carefully dat yuh eh seeing people rolling arong on floors, sitting prop up on stools, no maggots crawling arong, no stray dogs, no rats – yuh get dee picture. Dis is a five-star rated National Health Service hospital in the UK.

Note how things work, how painless it is to get health care. Arks yuhself a question. Allyuh really on dee way tuh 2020? All who believe dat chooopid, no ass. Allyuh have been sold a choopid set o’ propaganda – daize wot it is. Wot?!! Allyuh need a chance? Nah.. nah.. I doh gih chance. Allyuh had allyuh chance and allyuh vote wid allyuh gonads.. and look at dee mess allyuh inherit. No chance fuh allyuh. I say allyuh have tuh grow up and select leaders who will be hard on allyuh. And all ah allyuh need to lorn dee meaning of dee word ‘sacrifice’. Daize one t’ing I admire dee English for – as a Nation dey know about sacrifice.

Addendum: 2011-05-13 08:55 – crew member just reported that last night dem nurses wuk real hard, attending to dee eye throughout dee night; every hour on dee hour. Eye condition seems to be improving a’ready. Fingers crossed.